By Amanda Estes

Staff Writer  

Beth Villandry said 20 and 30 somethings across the nation are choosing
to face cancer with humor – young and twisted humor that is.

There is “Crazy Sexy Cancer,” a documentary film by Kris Carr, who, at
31, was diagnosed with a rare and incurable cancer. Author of Crazy
Sexy Cancer Tips, Carr also uses a blog to share information and advice
about how to dodge “verbal bullets,” from well meaning people who
associate cancer with death and dying. Another Web site,
PlanetCancer.org, offers Cancertainment in the form of book, movie and
music reviews and cancer comics. The Web site, I’mtooyoungforthis.org
offers this advice: “Got Cancer? Under 40? Sucks, huh? Get busy living!”

Villandry hopes to bring this new attitude toward cancer to Maine with
Live2Thrive, a networking group for young adult cancer patients and
survivors between the ages of 18 and “45-ish.” It will not be a typical
support group or “cancers anonymous,” the Portland resident said during
a recent interview at the Cancer Community Center (CCC) on Main Street
in South Portland.

As a new CCC program, the group’s first gathering will be an outdoor
brunch from 10:30 to 11:30 a.m. on Sept. 23 at Pineland Farms in New
Gloucester. The Hit the Trails…Walk, Run, Stroll will take place
immediately following brunch. The event features live entertainment and
food, as people of all ages come together to raise funds and awareness
for CCC. All programs – from yoga to movie nights – are offered at no
cost to adults living with cancer, their families and friends.

Villandry and a core group interested people have been meeting since
April to discuss the issues they hope the group can address. Guest
speakers will discuss topics that tend to uniquely affect young adults
with cancer such as career planning, financial planning, sex and dating
and child-rearing and family issues.  

For young people just starting out on a career path, cancer treatments
are a “huge cause of debt,” Villandry said. In addition, some people
may be unsure about returning to work.

Other topics of discussion might include how to talk to your children
about cancer or how to deal with fertility issues, Villandry said. If
you’re single, navigating the dating scene can be scary and when you
“add in the cancer factor, it can be very overwhelming,” Villandry
said.

Villandry has had personal experience with “absolutely all” of the proposed topics.

At 37, Villandry was in the middle of an internal medicine residency
program when suddenly, she found herself in the role of the patient. It
has been nearly two years since Villandry was diagnosed with a rare
heart cancer.

Villandry underwent open-heart surgery and aggressive chemotherapy. She
spent three months in the hospital, half of that time in the intensive
care unit.

Looking back at the span of time between diagnosis and the end of her
treatment, Villandry said she had refused to admit she had cancer. With
her body under prolonged physical stress, Villandry said it was almost
necessary for her to go into a state of denial because she didn’t have
the “emotional reserve” to deal with what was happening.

Villandry said she is doing “well from a cancer standpoint,” but is
still dealing with treatment side effects such as fatigue and
neurocognitive issues.

It wasn’t until the chemo ended that Villandry began to admit to
herself that she had cancer. She started looking for a support group
geared toward people in their 20s and 30s. What she found was that many
support groups were diagnosis centered and were focused on children or
an older generation.

Even while surrounded by supportive and empathetic friends, Villandry
felt isolated. She was searching for people who would understand what
she was going through without her having to say a word.

It was a yoga class that initially drew her to the CCC, although at the time she wasn’t sure she belonged there.

“When you get cancer, everybody is handing you fliers,” she said of
learning about the center. “I leafed through and thought, ‘This is for
my grandmother, not for me.’”

Jennifer Manzi MacLeod, outreach coordinator for the CCC, said, “Beth coming here has been a huge milestone for us.”

While it can be difficult for anyone to walk through the center’s
doors, MacLeod said young cancer survivors often can’t find time in
their day to come in. People in their 20s and 30s are often busy
starting careers and families. Traditionally the center has not offered
many weekend programs, but MacLeod said they hope to cater to active
adults who want to make a connection while having fun.

The intent of Live2Thrive is for people to come together, engage in new
activities and gain a sense of empowerment, but to also just
participate in some of the activities that their peers may take for
granted.

Planned activities include a group hike on Mount Katahdin, a “Cancer
Stinks Happy Hour,” a regular poker night, bowling, movie nights, Casco
Bay cruises and surfing.

Villandry said surfing this summer was a major milestone in her
journey. While she doesn’t yet have enough stamina for some activities,
she is hooked on yoga and takes walks with her dogs.

“You operate under this notion once chemo is done, you’re going to
bounce right back,” she said. “Cancer survivorship is living with a
chronic disease. Remission is not a cure.”

Villandry said she hopes Live2Thrive will bring more awareness to the
men and women in society’s middle generation. She cited a 2006 Centers
for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) report encompassing nearly 30
years and said the mortality rate for cancers in young adults has
remained steady at 50 percent, while cancers affecting others such as
pediatric leukemia are now essentially curable.

“That offends me,” she said.

Highlights from a National Cancer Institute cancer epidemiology report
for young adults between the ages of 15 and 29, spanning 1975 to 2000
show, “survival improvement trends portend a worse prognosis for young
adults diagnosed with cancer today than 25 years ago, and the deficit
is increasing with longer follow up.”

According to the report, “lack of awareness, inadequate health
insurance coverage, lack of clinical trial participation, and a deficit
in translational research” are all contributing factors to a higher
mortality rate than those found with pediatric or geriatric cancers.

While there are social support programs available for patients with
other illnesses, Villandry is an advocate of a “cancer rehab program”
to provide patients with sustained support after treatment.

In terms of advice for people who aren’t sure how to offer support to a
friend with cancer, Villandry said, “Be the same friend you were
before.”

“Some people for their own reasons, can’t do it,” she said, adding her own friendships were not immune from change.

While she lost some friends, she had others who gathered around her
hospital bed with “rag mags” and talk of boys, dating and parenthood.

Since her treatment ended, Villandry has stepped back into the dating
scene, but said at the time she was still figuring out her own sense of
normal and wasn’t ready to emotionally invest in a relationship.

“I actually went on a few dates when I was still bald,” she said. She
has become even more selective about men and jokes, “Cancer is a great
screening question.”

For more information about Live2Thrive and the Cancer Community Center,
call 774-2200 or visit www.cancercommunitycenter.com. To make a
donation, visit www.firstgiving.com/bethv.

Anyone interested in attending the Live2Thrive brunch, must call the
Cancer Community Center to register by noon this Saturday. Anyone who
has not previously registered for Hit the Trails may make a donation on
the day of the event.